The day has officially arrived...
I report for surgery at 5:45 a.m.
I'm surprisingly calm for having neurosurgery in the morning. I'm almost expecting all my nerves to hit me at once and cause me to have a panic attack but I really don't think that'll happen. Deep down, I know this was meant to be and everything will work out exactly how I want it to. There is no need to worry about things that are beyond my control at this point.
It helps I have an amazing support group that will drag their butts out of bed at 5 a.m. to see me off.
I am going to keep this one short and sweet so I can spend some quality time with my friends and family.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me today with the kind thoughts, prayers, and positive vibes. Please keep them coming :)
Catch ya on the flip side!
XOXO,
Bree
:)
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
TEN DAYS!
Holy moly Batman. Ten days away.
I've started to prepare more for the big day. I made a hospital packing list. If you know me well enough, you know I am the queen of lists. I make them for absolutely everything and I'm infamous for never finishing them. One of my many flaws :)
I'm also pampering myself before surgery. I scheduled a massage a few days before surgery and a hair appointment because I am in dire need of a cut and color beforehand. AND I am getting my nails done the day before I leave. I need to worry about recovering and not about how horrible my nails and hair look, ya know? #girlproblems
The Neurontin (nerve pain pill) that I am taking is making me nauseous at times but other than that I haven't experienced many of the side effects of the pill. Besides flatulence. :( TMI I know but I did say I wasn't going to sugarcoat anything right?
I am only getting more and more nervous as time goes on. The excitement is still there but definitely on the backburner. I have to be intubated (meaning I have to have a tube inserted into my throat to aide in breathing during surgery) and I made the HORRIBLE mistake of YouTubing videos of intubating and extubating. DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU'RE HAVING SURGERY. It scared the poo out of me even though I've seen it done numerous times at the hospital while working. But now I'm more worried about being intubated than having parts of my spinal cord severed. How ridiculous is that?
A list of more things I am worried about...
1) Remembering the nurses taking the tube out of my throat
2) Saying something embarrassing while I'm coming out of my anesthesia
3) Having to go #2 while I'm on bedrest :/ (LOL another TMI. Just being honest!)
4) Having to lay flat for 24-48 hours. I'm really good at being lazy but not THAT lazy.
5) Maybe I should be worried about being paralyzed after but my neurosurgeon, Dr. Nicholas Wetjen, is much too good to even be concerned about that. And he went to med school at Iowa so I have extra faith in him :)
6) Experiencing a level of pain I've never had before.
I am bringing plenty of distractions with me to help push through the pain. Here comes yet another list!
1) My computer! Netflix will keep me plenty busy along with social media and my blog! I will try to keep you updated as much as I can. My friend Jess will take over for the first couple days after surgery to let you all know how I'm doing.
2) Books! I am bringing the book Foxcatcher, an autobiography about the murder of an Olympic wrestler. Also a quote book that was given to me by a stranger who is now a friend. She said it helped her through a tough time so I imagine it will help with mine! (Thanks Abbie!)
3) Super Nintendo. I am a Super Nintendo enthusiast. Hopefully they have the right hook ups I will need in order to play because that will help distract me for hours on end. I don't mean to toot my own horn but I'm pretty darn good. I grew up playing my older brother so I HAD to be good. I'm better than him now though. (Hey Ry) :)
4) My friends and family. I have an AMAZING support group that has helped with so much throughout this journey. The first weekend there I will have plenty of people to help out and distract me. My dad and stepmom are flying in from Cali the day before and my mother and her boyfriend will be there. In addition my brother and his 5-year-old triplets will be there which will be a wonderful distraction. My best friends Jess, Mike, and Bridget will be there too! And perhaps my stepbrother. There are so many people I can barely keep track! My sister would be there but she is having a baby any day now so she will be plenty busy. February is quite the life-changing month for us.
If anyone else has any distraction recommendations, please let me know!
Wednesday and Thursday are my last nights at work and after that I will be meandering around Iowa City until I leave for surgery. So if anyone would like to meet up beforehand, let me know!
Thank you for all the love and support. You all have a special place in my heart.
XOXO,
Bree :)
I've started to prepare more for the big day. I made a hospital packing list. If you know me well enough, you know I am the queen of lists. I make them for absolutely everything and I'm infamous for never finishing them. One of my many flaws :)
I'm also pampering myself before surgery. I scheduled a massage a few days before surgery and a hair appointment because I am in dire need of a cut and color beforehand. AND I am getting my nails done the day before I leave. I need to worry about recovering and not about how horrible my nails and hair look, ya know? #girlproblems
The Neurontin (nerve pain pill) that I am taking is making me nauseous at times but other than that I haven't experienced many of the side effects of the pill. Besides flatulence. :( TMI I know but I did say I wasn't going to sugarcoat anything right?
I am only getting more and more nervous as time goes on. The excitement is still there but definitely on the backburner. I have to be intubated (meaning I have to have a tube inserted into my throat to aide in breathing during surgery) and I made the HORRIBLE mistake of YouTubing videos of intubating and extubating. DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU'RE HAVING SURGERY. It scared the poo out of me even though I've seen it done numerous times at the hospital while working. But now I'm more worried about being intubated than having parts of my spinal cord severed. How ridiculous is that?
A list of more things I am worried about...
1) Remembering the nurses taking the tube out of my throat
2) Saying something embarrassing while I'm coming out of my anesthesia
3) Having to go #2 while I'm on bedrest :/ (LOL another TMI. Just being honest!)
4) Having to lay flat for 24-48 hours. I'm really good at being lazy but not THAT lazy.
5) Maybe I should be worried about being paralyzed after but my neurosurgeon, Dr. Nicholas Wetjen, is much too good to even be concerned about that. And he went to med school at Iowa so I have extra faith in him :)
6) Experiencing a level of pain I've never had before.
I am bringing plenty of distractions with me to help push through the pain. Here comes yet another list!
1) My computer! Netflix will keep me plenty busy along with social media and my blog! I will try to keep you updated as much as I can. My friend Jess will take over for the first couple days after surgery to let you all know how I'm doing.
2) Books! I am bringing the book Foxcatcher, an autobiography about the murder of an Olympic wrestler. Also a quote book that was given to me by a stranger who is now a friend. She said it helped her through a tough time so I imagine it will help with mine! (Thanks Abbie!)
3) Super Nintendo. I am a Super Nintendo enthusiast. Hopefully they have the right hook ups I will need in order to play because that will help distract me for hours on end. I don't mean to toot my own horn but I'm pretty darn good. I grew up playing my older brother so I HAD to be good. I'm better than him now though. (Hey Ry) :)
4) My friends and family. I have an AMAZING support group that has helped with so much throughout this journey. The first weekend there I will have plenty of people to help out and distract me. My dad and stepmom are flying in from Cali the day before and my mother and her boyfriend will be there. In addition my brother and his 5-year-old triplets will be there which will be a wonderful distraction. My best friends Jess, Mike, and Bridget will be there too! And perhaps my stepbrother. There are so many people I can barely keep track! My sister would be there but she is having a baby any day now so she will be plenty busy. February is quite the life-changing month for us.
If anyone else has any distraction recommendations, please let me know!
Wednesday and Thursday are my last nights at work and after that I will be meandering around Iowa City until I leave for surgery. So if anyone would like to meet up beforehand, let me know!
Thank you for all the love and support. You all have a special place in my heart.
XOXO,
Bree :)
Friday, February 6, 2015
The Countdown Begins
It's fascinating how one day of the year can hold so much meaning for an individual: that one date you will never forget, the one that's imprinted into your brain. The one that changes your life forever.
February 20th is that day for me.
February 20th is the day that is going to change the rest of my life. The day I have been waiting for since the moment I was born. 21 years of waiting, wishing, wanting something more for my life. And now it's finally in my grasp. 14 days until my life is changed forever. How do you prepare for something like that?
I imagine most of you reading this already know a good portion of my life story, but in case you don't I will give you some background.
I was born with Spastic Diplegic Cerebral Palsy. My umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck around the time I was born causing me to lose oxygen to my brain. My parents didn't know something was wrong until I started to walk and they noticed I had an abnormal gait. They took me to doctors who told them it was a toddler walk and I would outgrow it. Unfortunately, I did not.
There is no cure for Cerebral Palsy so at that point in time, the only thing we could try to do was make a better quality of life for myself and improve my gait. I began physical therapy at the age of three and started to wear leg braces. Which I absolutely hated. Although I did have a pretty cool pair with Bugs and Lola Bunny on the back.
I always knew growing up that I was different. The braces gave it away, I had to go to physical therapy twice a week after school, I couldn't participate in gym class like everyone else could. I felt like an outsider at times. My family really pushed me to prove myself though. They wouldn't allow me to feel sorry for myself and made me realize I can do just as much as anyone else could. Growing up in small town Iowa also helped. I went to school with the same people from Kindergarten through graduation. Everyone knew who I was and accepted me for who I was, never allowing me to feel like an outcast.
Fast forward to my freshman year of college. I began seeing a doctor who specialized in neurologic disorders. We discussed treatment options for me to help with the effects of CP. We decided Botox injections were a great option. At the time I didn't want anything invasive and shots were quick. Painful, but quick. The Botox was intended to weaken my calf muscles since they were so contractured. It definitely helped. I didn't drag my feet as much which has always been a problem for me (and my parents who had to buy me countless pairs of shoes).
One day, about a year ago, I stumbled across an article on Facebook from a woman who had a Selective Dorsal Rhizotomy done as an adult and had amazing results. I had never heard of the surgery so I googled it and all the qualifications for the surgery fit me perfectly. I researched it for hours and hours, so excited that there might be something out there that could really help. The next time I received Botox injections I asked my doctor about the surgery. She thought it was something to look into so she referred me up to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN to talk to the team up there.
More about the surgery here --> http://www.stlouischildrens.org/our-services/center-cerebral-palsy-spasticity/about-selective-dorsal-rhizotomy-sdr
And that's when things started happening so quickly. I met with the rehab doctor, the neurosurgeon, physical therapists, occupational therapists, social workers, participated in a gait lab, and had an MRI. After this, the team decided I was a great fit for the surgery and it was scheduled!
Insurance was a nightmare to deal with but we eventually got it squared away. I started a GoFundMe page and we had a couple fundraisers to help with the mounting hospital bills.
AND NOW IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!! I can't believe it. It's so surreal.
I'm beginning to get so unbelievably nervous. I began taking my Neurontin (a pill that will help with nerve pain after surgery) and that's when it really hit me that it was coming up much faster than I thought.
I am going to try to keep this blog updated because 1) many people have asked me to keep them updated and this is probably the easiest way to go about it and 2) I want to make a blog for other people with CP who may be interested in getting the surgery. In all my research I found the most beneficial sites that I found were the ones written by people who lived through the experience and could tell you firsthand what to expect.
I vow to write to you the real, intense, emotional rollercoaster I'm about to experience. I won't sugarcoat it. There will be good days, there will be bad days. And I want you all to be a part of it.
Thank you all for the never-ending support and outpouring of love. I am eternally grateful for each and every one of you.
I want to write so much more but this is a novel already. Please feel free to ask me any questions.
Until next time.
XOXO,
Bree
February 20th is that day for me.
February 20th is the day that is going to change the rest of my life. The day I have been waiting for since the moment I was born. 21 years of waiting, wishing, wanting something more for my life. And now it's finally in my grasp. 14 days until my life is changed forever. How do you prepare for something like that?
I imagine most of you reading this already know a good portion of my life story, but in case you don't I will give you some background.
I was born with Spastic Diplegic Cerebral Palsy. My umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck around the time I was born causing me to lose oxygen to my brain. My parents didn't know something was wrong until I started to walk and they noticed I had an abnormal gait. They took me to doctors who told them it was a toddler walk and I would outgrow it. Unfortunately, I did not.
There is no cure for Cerebral Palsy so at that point in time, the only thing we could try to do was make a better quality of life for myself and improve my gait. I began physical therapy at the age of three and started to wear leg braces. Which I absolutely hated. Although I did have a pretty cool pair with Bugs and Lola Bunny on the back.
I always knew growing up that I was different. The braces gave it away, I had to go to physical therapy twice a week after school, I couldn't participate in gym class like everyone else could. I felt like an outsider at times. My family really pushed me to prove myself though. They wouldn't allow me to feel sorry for myself and made me realize I can do just as much as anyone else could. Growing up in small town Iowa also helped. I went to school with the same people from Kindergarten through graduation. Everyone knew who I was and accepted me for who I was, never allowing me to feel like an outcast.
Fast forward to my freshman year of college. I began seeing a doctor who specialized in neurologic disorders. We discussed treatment options for me to help with the effects of CP. We decided Botox injections were a great option. At the time I didn't want anything invasive and shots were quick. Painful, but quick. The Botox was intended to weaken my calf muscles since they were so contractured. It definitely helped. I didn't drag my feet as much which has always been a problem for me (and my parents who had to buy me countless pairs of shoes).
One day, about a year ago, I stumbled across an article on Facebook from a woman who had a Selective Dorsal Rhizotomy done as an adult and had amazing results. I had never heard of the surgery so I googled it and all the qualifications for the surgery fit me perfectly. I researched it for hours and hours, so excited that there might be something out there that could really help. The next time I received Botox injections I asked my doctor about the surgery. She thought it was something to look into so she referred me up to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN to talk to the team up there.
More about the surgery here --> http://www.stlouischildrens.org/our-services/center-cerebral-palsy-spasticity/about-selective-dorsal-rhizotomy-sdr
And that's when things started happening so quickly. I met with the rehab doctor, the neurosurgeon, physical therapists, occupational therapists, social workers, participated in a gait lab, and had an MRI. After this, the team decided I was a great fit for the surgery and it was scheduled!
Insurance was a nightmare to deal with but we eventually got it squared away. I started a GoFundMe page and we had a couple fundraisers to help with the mounting hospital bills.
AND NOW IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!! I can't believe it. It's so surreal.
I'm beginning to get so unbelievably nervous. I began taking my Neurontin (a pill that will help with nerve pain after surgery) and that's when it really hit me that it was coming up much faster than I thought.
I am going to try to keep this blog updated because 1) many people have asked me to keep them updated and this is probably the easiest way to go about it and 2) I want to make a blog for other people with CP who may be interested in getting the surgery. In all my research I found the most beneficial sites that I found were the ones written by people who lived through the experience and could tell you firsthand what to expect.
I vow to write to you the real, intense, emotional rollercoaster I'm about to experience. I won't sugarcoat it. There will be good days, there will be bad days. And I want you all to be a part of it.
Thank you all for the never-ending support and outpouring of love. I am eternally grateful for each and every one of you.
I want to write so much more but this is a novel already. Please feel free to ask me any questions.
Until next time.
XOXO,
Bree
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