So let's go back. Back to the morning of surgery.
I didn't get much sleep. We had 6 people in one hotel room so we were packed like sardines. Dad and Nicole had their own bed; Mike, Jess, and I shared one bed and my stepbrother probably had the best sleep because he slept on the floor on a bunch of pillows. I was tossing and turning all night, sweating because there was so much body heat in the bed, and I'm sure my nerves didn't help me sleep at all.
After we all got out of bed at about 4:45 that morning, I had to take another chlorhexidine shower. Chlorhexidine is a liquid that is used to prevent infection to the surgical area. I took one the night before as well. We got dressed and made the freezing cold walk across the street to the Mary Brigh building. It was snowing pretty hard and the wind made your skin feel like it was going to fall off your face. Those two weeks I was in the hospital were some of the coldest nights that Minnesota has ever seen. -35 degrees Fahrenheit at times.
Once we got there, we were transferred to the pre-op area. I changed into my hospital gown and grippy socks and then proceeded to answer a million questions. Dad called it the "Spanish Inquisition" LOL. We were there for about two hours then I was transferred to yet another pre-op room at 8 A.M. I had to say goodbye to my family and friends which was incredibly hard. I was choking back tears the whole time but surprisingly held myself together. I'm choking up thinking about it now. That was the closest I got to crying before surgery.
Once I was in the pre-op room, I ended up waiting for hours. Dr. Wetjen had to do an emergency surgery so I didn't get to go into the operating room until 11 A.M. Those three hours were the longest three hours of my life. Dad kept a log the first few days I was there and he wrote "Bree says she was calm, but her blood pressure said NOT". I was definitely not calm lol. I had to tell myself I was and I felt I had to be strong for everyone especially my parents. I think they were more terrified than I was at times. I took a few walks around the unit while I was waiting just to keep me occupied. I turned the TV to a channel that was playing hip hop music so I could keep my mind off surgery for awhile. I actually fell asleep for a bit until the neurosurgeon came to talk to me. Then they let my mom and dad come sit with me for awhile while I waited. That was a great distraction. I needed support in that moment. We sat and watched the NFL Combine together. It was nice to see a fellow Iowan, Brandon Scherff, participating in the combine as I sat. It gave me something to focus on and helped calm my nerves a little bit. So thanks for that Brandon!
Numerous people came to see me while I was in pre-op. The anesthesiologist came to put an IV in my hand so they could administer the drugs before surgery, doctors came in to test different things, nurses were checking my vitals, etc.... Of course I asked about being intubated and if anyone remembered and if he had knocked anybody's teeth out while performing the procedure. His answers made me feel a little more at ease.
Finally, it was time to go to the OR and say goodbye to my parents yet again. They met up with the rest of my family and friends in the waiting room while I underwent surgery. I was most nervous once I got to the OR. There were people everywhere. Neurosurgeons, doctors, assistants, nurses, anesthesiologists. There were probably at least twenty people in the room. They didn't waste much time. I was administered the anesthesia within 5 minutes of being in there. The last thing I remember is a nurse holding my hand and telling me that everything was going to be okay. A gentleman put the mask over my nose and mouth (this is when I was most terrified. I hated that feeling) and told me that someone was going to give me the IV medication. Then I drifted off to sleep thinking about being on a beautiful, warm beach with my closest friends and family.
Surgery began at 12:30 PM. Dad received a call from the nurse communicator at 1:30 that said I was under the microscope. My back was open and they were cutting my nerve endings.
2:20 PM: call from nurse, I was getting finished with surgery and should be in recovery soon. The whole surgery only took a few hours. It's crazy to me that they can open somebody up, cut parts of their spinal cord, and sew them up all in that short amount of time.
I'm very thankful that dad kept a log of everything. It's nice to know little details of things that happened. He wrote: "Dad, Nicole, and Mike are in the cafeteria. We had a great conversation about Bree's strength and courage to have this surgery." These are things I need to read when I get discouraged. I really do have the greatest support system.
"2:30 PM: Met with doctor. He told us about the surgery. He removed the vertebrae above the L1 and went down to the spinal cord. He cut the nerves that caused some of the spasticity. Doctor said her legs will be tired since the nerves he cut went to her hamstrings. This will cause some temporary numbness but should go away quickly. Doctor told us this surgery has done many good things for the who have had the surgery. The cut on Bree's back is only about 4 inches long and he used body absorbing stitches to put her skin back together. Bree needs to stay motivated and work hard to start walking like she can."
"3:25 PM: Bree is in the recovery room. We can't wait to see her."
I'm not sure at what time I woke up from anesthesia. The first thing I remember is waking up and asking the nurse if it was over. She said yes. Second thing I asked was why my butt hurt lol. (I found out a month later that they stuck a needle in my anal sphincter to test which nerves were my bowel nerves. Still traumatized from hearing that but it does explain why my butt hurt.) The pain from my waist down was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Everything was tingly and numb. I kept telling people it felt like it was asleep but 10 times worse than a foot that fell asleep. It was painful every time I moved or even if someone lightly touched my leg. I woke up with a catheter, an epidural in my spine, and a million IV's it felt like. I couldn't stop crying. The nurse told me that was common when people came out of anesthesia.
Eventually I was transported to my post-op surgical unit at 5:20 PM. My family was waiting for me in the room. I saw my mom outside my room and started yelling for her from down the hallway. The nurses shushed me lol. I was just so excited to see them and show them I was okay. I was still crying and laughing and I can only imagine what that looked like. Dad wrote "she was crying and said her eyes wouldn't quit watering. Good one!!" Sounds like something I would say. I started crying harder for whatever reason and of course my oldest brother came in while I was bawling. I figured he would make fun of me for it but he was actually nice from what I can remember. It's all a bit hazy. Soon everybody came to see me. My brother's triplets came in and my niece Addie gave me a little stuffed dog. I think it freaked out my nephews and niece to see me hooked up to so many things and being unable to move. I think everybody was emotionally exhausted from the day and I was exhausted from neurosurgery but it was so great to have everyone with me in the room. I really needed them there at that time. The nurses weren't happy that I had so many visitors but I honestly didn't care. Being surrounded by all that love and support is really a huge part of healing. I couldn't imagine going through something like that alone.
People that were there the day of surgery: My dad, Nicole (stepmom), my stepbrother Nick, my brother Ryan and his triplets Addie, Brady, & Colin; my mama, her boyfriend Ron, and my closest friends Jess, Mike, Bridget, and Morgan. Thank you all for being there. It meant more to me than any of you will ever know. I love you.
That night I made the nurse take out my catheter. It was so unbelievable painful. Every time I moved it felt like my bladder would spasm. Combined with the numbness and tingling, the pain I felt was unreal. I'm pretty sure that night was one of the few times I cried from pain while I was hospitalized.
Mike and Jess stayed with me for most of the night. Mike held my hand as I fell in and out of sleep and they watched television and kept me company. Dad came back late that night with a toothbrush and toothpaste (because of course I forgot to pack one of the most important items). We ordered my meals for the next day and then Dad and Mike went back to the hotel. Jess stayed with me on a cot the hospital provided. I woke up every couple hours that night to be flipped from side to side and to get pain meds. The braces I had to wear were the worst. They kept my legs completely straight so I could start stretching my hamstrings but they made it nearly impossible to get any sleep.
I think that's the end of day one!
Sheesh. That was a long one but that was the busiest day of them all. I didn't want to forget anything about this experience. The good, the bad, the ugly. I want to remember it all.
February 20th was the hardest day of my life. I think back to the pain, the fear, the chaos of that day. It's encouraging to me now because if I could get through that day, I can get through just about anything.
More to come!
Xoxo,
Bree :)
