It has been over 7 months since I had my surgery. The recovery has been harder than I could have ever imagined. I was pain-free until I went back to working 2 jobs and back to school all within a month of each other. My body hates me for it now because I'm putting too much stress on it and the pain is back in full-force. I recently quit one of my jobs though so hopefully recovering can be number one on my priority list again and I am hoping the pain will gradually dissipate because I can't take much more of this.
The pain and struggle to recover lately has led me to reevaluate my life. I am passionate about physical therapy and helping children after they have had the same surgery I had, but if my pain never fully goes away and depending on how I recover, I may not be able to physically do that career for the rest of my life. It breaks my heart but I have to be realistic with myself and put my health/body first. I originally came to college to be a Child Life Specialist, a counselor who helps kids and their families deal with the struggles, hardships, and mental trauma that surgeries can cause. I can still help children who have been in the same situation as I am which is what is most important to me.
Otherwise the last 7 months have been quite the journey. I have learned so much about myself, who my best friends are, and I have also learned a lot about the general public. It's amusing how many stares I get from people because I am a young woman using 2 canes when generally the requirement to use canes is to be over 70 years old. I have also learned a lot about how ignorant people can be. My brother and I attended the Iowa game last weekend and on the way to the stadium a gentleman said "Hey look! That girl is a cripple." This is not okay. Cripple is my least favorite word in the English language. It cuts deep, just the sound of it. I did not struggle through 22 years of life of cerebral palsy and neurosurgery to have some college frat boy call me a cripple. I have been through more than most people at my age, have grown incredibly strong, and it made me who I am today. All I ask is that you don't judge a book by it's cover and take into consideration that there are feelings inside this "crippled" body of mine.
Everything else has been positive though. I have seen immense improvement compared to before surgery and it's only going to get better. I can't wait to see the end result.
I was also recently nominated for Beauty Revived's 50 Most Beautiful Women. They pick a woman from each state who demonstrates what true beauty is and I am so honored to have been picked. I had a photo shoot last week with Shannon Elvira Photography (check out her work, she is AMAZING) and it will be in a magazine coming out later this year! It's so humbling and amazing knowing that other people can see my story and hopefully find some strength from it. It brings tears to my eyes when I get messages from strangers asking me about how it was growing up with cerebral palsy because they have a granddaughter, son, etc. who is struggling with it now. It brings joy to my heart to answer all their questions and help other people through my experiences.
Thank you all for the continued support and love. You all know how much you mean to me.
XOXO
Bree
:)
